Attitude of Gratitude

September 2009

by Kathy Magnus

Grazie! Danke! Merci beaucoup! Gracias! Koszonom! Asante sana! Tack! Tesekkur ederim!

Those who travel to places where English is not spoken often learn a few words in the local language. It is a gracious way to act. It gives a sense of belonging and respect to say “hello,” “good day,” and “thank you” in the language of the country we are visiting—even though we might have to think carefully when saying the unfamiliar word. Over the years, I have managed to learn several versions of thank you. Sometimes the word doesn’t just roll off my tongue, but I am aware that saying thank you is important, whether I am in my home, in a shop, in another country, or praying.

Every day I say thank you. I thank God each morning as I open my eyes and take that first stretch in the cozy, warm sheets. I thank the cashier at the grocery store. I thank the delivery woman for the package. I shout a quick “thanks!” to my neighbor as she drops a borrowed book on my front step. My husband and I say a prayer of thanks before meals. I do a good job of sending thank-you notes after dinner at a friend’s home or for a birthday or Christmas gift. Thank-yous are important.

My mom taught me early that thank-you notes were the tasks that came after receiving gifts. I recall sitting with resignation at our kitchen table with a small stack of thank-you cards that I needed to write, address, stamp, and send after my 11th birthday. Mom said that each card had to have at least four sentences, and my writing needed to be neat. I labored with the cursive: “Dear Aunt Millie, How are you? I am fine. Thank you for the pretty yellow sweater. I wore it today. Love, Kathy Jo.” My mother explained that the giver of the gift had taken the time to think of me in a special way and I needed to acknowledge the gift as a sign of my gratitude.

Attitude of Wants

I’d like to think that I live with an attitude of gratitude. But often I’m caught up short. Sometimes

I think I deserve the gift and really don’t need to say thanks. Sometimes I think a gift should be mine and when it doesn’t come through, I’m a bit miffed. Sometimes I just forget. I’m clear that as a Christian I am called to be a person of gratitude for both the small and large gifts in my life, and most of all for the incredible gift of salvation. I know that. I believe that. But I don’t always live that thanks.

My prayers begin with thanks and then move quickly to my worries, needs, and requests. On nights when sleep eludes me, I pray. I intentionally count my blessings. I start with giving thanks for each member of my family and for close friends. I name specific reasons for my gratitude. But before I know it, I forget that this prayer was about my gratitude to God and instead I am asking God for all kinds of assistance. “Help me. Give me. Help them. Give them.” I know that requests are part of prayer, but I think my attitude of gratitude more often than not morphs into an attitude of wants.

I need to be reminded that all of life is a gift. All that I have comes from God. We are called to be people of gratitude. We are given helpful resources for finding and expressing our gratitude to God. The book of Psalms rings with praise and thanksgiving. Take out your Bible and thumb through the psalms. On almost every page the psalmist sings out in praise. Read a few aloud in an attitude of gratitude. My favorites are listed in the shaded box below.

And there’s a song that has played itself in my head hundreds of times over the decades. Sometimes I find myself humming it absent-mindedly. Sometimes, when words can’t convey the thanks in my heart, those words and tune work. I taught this song to our children when they were young, and now sing it to my grandchildren. It embodies gratitude. (See the box below.)

Attitude of Worry

But it is not always easy to be thankful. The past months have brought difficult economic times to many. How does one sing for joy when the fear of job loss is hovering around the edges? How does one give thanks in song and psalm when the financial future is uncertain and the future we had planned is no longer reality? For some, there has been news of illness and loss. How do I sing given that reality? Some days I can’t, and that’s the reality. Some days my singing and psalms are silent and my conversations with God are pleading and fearful. But God walks with me no matter how rocky my path might be. God’s promise never leaves me. Even in difficult times God continues to give gifts.

In our congregation we often sing this offertory:

That’s the giving side of an attitude of gratitude—returning to God what is God’s. Just as my mom was clear that thank-you notes were the tasks that follow a gift, so does task follow gratitude in my life as a believer. How do I live out that second part of my attitude of gratitude? How does my thanks move from singing to action?

Attitude of Opportunity

While I don’t always do it all so well, I think there are abundant opportunities to live our thanks.

Tithing. We are taught that God expects us to give of the gifts we’ve been given. I grew up in a home where tithing wasn’t discussed. It wasn’t optional. You just did it. In junior high, that meant 10 percent of my Saturday night babysitting money. In high school, it meant 10 percent of the income from my summer job as a telephone operator. I remember my first real paycheck the summer between my sophomore and junior year in high school. I endorsed the check, went to the bank, deposited most, put 10 percent in a special pocket in my purse and took $25 to spend. It wasn’t a decision I needed to make. The 10 percent just was. It is a life practice.

Notes. In today’s rapid-fire communication culture of e-mail, text messaging, Twittering, Facebook, and cell phone conversations, one way of living out gift and task might be to actually write a note (on paper!) to say thank you for a kindness or for something you have observed about someone. Ever think of writing a note to your aunt or your nephew? Or someone who has brought you great joy with their music at worship? Or young people in your life whom you could affirm for their wise choices or compassion or hard work?

Needs. What are the needs in your community for volunteers? Are there food banks that need help shelving or a school that could benefit from your time each week to read to a kindergarten class?

Affirmation. Compliment a young mother on her job of parenting or maybe even go the extra mile and offer her a night of free babysitting!

Friendship. Ask your pastor if there is someone in the congregation who is lonely and would appreciate a visit or an invitation to the coffee shop for a latte, a scone, and conversation.

The funny thing about this task stuff is that carrying through with it almost always becomes another gift! An attitude of gratitude multiplies all over the place. Gift and task and task and gift. God’s gracious goodness to us.

So what am I thankful for today? Oh, my list is long

• The laughter of grandchildren: Jackson, Meron, Ben, Zach, and Josh
• My grandma’s banana bread recipe
• Photo albums that remind me of people and places I love
• Music that soothes, energizes, and makes me weep or smile
• Sunday morning worship in my congregation
• Picnics, woodsmoke, and s’mores
• Results of a good mammogram
• Family stories
• A friend’s letter or e-mail update
• Travel to faraway places
• Bible verses and hymns I know by heart
• Phone calls from my children
• Sleepy Saturday mornings
• Adult children who are really cool people
• Tomatoes on the vine
• The smell of a brand new book, or a library full of books
• A blank piece of paper and a new pen
• An elderly hand gripping mine
• Warm sun on my face

Gift and task. An attitude of gratitude. Thanks be to God!

Kathy Magnus served as the vice president of the ELCA from 1991 to 1997 and as the North America director for the Lutheran World Federation from 2001 to 2007. She and her husband, Richard, are retired and live in the Twin Cities. She is Nana to five grandchildren.