by Sonia C. Solomonson

We take better care of our cars than we do of ourselves. Consider this: Every 3,000 miles we change the oil, every 5,000 miles we rotate tires, balancing them every other rotation. We tune up our cars before a road trip, and we are familiar with our car’s sounds and know when there are strange ones. We have no such mainte­nance routine for our bodies and souls.

We often fail to listen to our bodies. For example, we might eat, thinking what we want is food when we’re really hungry for connection. What’s a woman to do? Can we learn to care for this gift God has given us?

We face obstacles—most of which we put up our­selves. “I don’t have enough time for self-care.” “It’s selfish and indulgent.” “I have others whose needs must come before mine.” We can think of dozens of excuses. As the Bible study leaders remind us, “we often seek to be responsible first and ‘renewed’ afterward—if there is time for it,” just like Martha (Luke 10:38–42) or the elder son (Luke 15:11–32).

So first we have to believe that it’s OK to spend time on renewal. For starters we might remember that God spent six days creating and one resting. That’s a high bar for some of us. Jesus often pulled away from the crowds, too, so he could pray and be renewed (Mark 6:46; Matthew 14:23). Years ago one church leader advised a group of us, “Come apart before you come apart.” Sound advice, I’d say.

Tending Relationships

Let’s begin with God’s intention for us. We see through­out Scripture that God wants good for God’s people. In Jeremiah 29:11 we read, “For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.” And in Deuteronomy 30:19: “…I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Choose life….”

What is the shalom of God and how might we experience it? The Hebrew word shalom encompasses the sense of well-being, wholeness, peace, that comes in relationship—our relationship with God, Christ, self, and others. Shalom is something far deeper than con­tentment or happiness. Truly it’s “the peace that passes understanding.”

Tending our relationships constitutes an important piece of well-being and renewal. Do you set aside time with God? Regular quiet time for meditation and prayer? Find a time, place and method that works for you. I find that I need to change my spiritual practices from time to time because what I needed last year isn’t what feeds my spirit now. Sometimes I need a devo­tional book to give me structure and insights. Other times, I need to focus solely on Scripture and prayer. And for me, journaling is a way I have conversations with God.

Often I’ve used a spiritual discipline called examen, and at day’s end I reflect on and pray about a ques­tion such as one of these: What gifts have I received today for which I can be thankful? Where has God been working in my life today? Where was I cooperat­ing with God today? How will God’s help guide me through tomorrow?

Relationships with others are also an important part of renewal—loved ones, family and friends, our faith community, those who need our help, and all those to whom we hear God’s call to serve. And don’t forget to look at the relationship you have with your­self. Do you befriend yourself? Or are you hard on yourself? We often neglect that part of Jesus’ command to us in Mark 12:30–31: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.” And then the part we often reverse: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” If we do not love ourselves, we are unable to fully love ourselves.

Consider the signs that we don’t love ourselves and the signs that we’re due for some renewal and self-care: We become irritable, quick to anger, mean-spirited, envious. We live in fear and with a sense of scarcity rather than abundance. What happens when we live in God’s shalom, when we know ourselves to be beloved of God? Our hearts open up with a sense of spaciousness and graciousness; we are more able to be channels for God’s love in Christ to flow through us and out to our neighbor, whoever our neighbor might be.

Are you in tune with what you need for renewal and self-care? As the Bible study authors point out, we need different things at different times. Sometimes you need quiet, and other times you need to get active. It is important to know your inner and outer rhythms and develop a tool kit of renewal and self-care resources. Once you are tuned in to your physical body and your inner spirit, you’ll be aware of what’s needed for you to be all God created you to be. You can then go to your resource toolbox and select from your own menu. (See toolbox ideas below.)

The Bible study authors ask us to think about what kind of renewal we need now. Sometimes we need to shake things up and get moving. Other times we need to slow down and create quiet space. For what do you yearn? Once you decide, select something from your resource toolbox. You’ll help yourself—and you’ll serve as a good model for your children, grandchildren, family, and friends.

Let yourself live in God’s shalom. God wants no less for you.

Sonia Solomonson is a life coach with Way2Grow Coaching and writes and edits from her home in Streamwood, Ill. The mother of three and grandmother of eight, she constantly adds to her self-care resource toolbox.