ELCA Candidate for Ordination Living with Faith and HIV

CHICAGO (ELCA) -- Preparing for ordained ministry in the
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) is filled with
uncertainties -- uncertainties about seminary classes, God's
direction, church structures, congregational acceptance and more.
A 40-something, African American, single mother of three can
expect to encounter even more uncertainties in a 4.85 million-
member church that is about 97 percent white and that has
ordained women for 36 years.
Andrena Ingram faces those uncertainties plus all the
uncertainties related to her being tested HIV positive. Yet, she
matches those uncertainties with an overwhelming faith in Jesus
Christ, who healed a "bent over" woman with whom she relates.
"Andrena Ingram is a wonderful example of the depth of
talent and giftedness available to the church, when it takes
seriously its apostolate to build the church in communities of
poverty and among those who understand in their soul the power of
transformed lives," said the Rev. Stephen P. Bouman, bishop of
the ELCA Metropolitan New York Synod.
"Andrena is a leader, a gifted theologian and Scripture
scholar, and she is going to be a powerful pastor. I am proud of
her," he said.
"We have been honored and delighted to have Andrena as a
student with us at LTSP," said the Rev. Philip D.W. Krey,
president, Lutheran Theological Seminary in Philadelphia (LTSP).
"She has participated in every aspect of our academic, spiritual
and communal life," he said.
"We have grown and learned together," Krey said. "We are
proud to claim her as one of our alums."
AIDS (Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome) is a result of HIV
(Human Immunodeficiency Virus) infection.
"A lot of people in my community were dying from the virus
and, I mean, I was nervous about it, but I went ahead and I got
tested," Ingram said. "When I received my diagnosis, I was
devastated. I felt dirty and nasty. I was ashamed, and I felt
ugly. I felt like damaged goods.
"I believed people would shun me. I thought I was being
punished for something. I remembered Cheryl, a woman in the
neighborhood who was rumored to have AIDS, and I looked down on
her. I looked down on her and made all kinds of judgments about
her character," Ingram said. "And now, that woman was me."
"Because I saw so many people in my community getting sick
and wasting away, I believed that would happen to me also. I
was depressed, and it was only because of my children that I made
an appointment at a clinic -- out of my neighborhood, of course -
- and began to get treated. My doctor also recommended that I
see a therapist for my depression," she said.
"I died a thousand deaths waiting for 'The Death' to
happen," Ingram said. "I stopped working and fell into a dark
hole that I didn't think I would be able to come out of," she
said. "I was doing a very good job of beating myself up all by
myself. I really didn't need anybody else's help."
"I didn't want my son to see me in such a depressed state,
and so I heard about this church that was down the block from me
that had a summer program." Ingram said she thought, "I can put
him in the summer program and be miserable during the day without
him watching me in that condition."
At the end of the summer program at Transfiguration Lutheran
Church, South Bronx, N.Y., parents were asked to enroll their
children in the after-school program, seek baptism for their
children or become a member of the congregation. "I signed up to
have my son baptized and forgot about it," Ingram said.
A few days later, the Rev. Heidi B. Neumark and pastoral
intern Andrea L. Walker were standing at Ingram's door. "That
completely blew my mind," Ingram said. "I just remember that the
pastor took time out of her day to visit me."
Ingram talked with them about all that she was going
through. "I didn't think that God loved me, because I had been
away from God for so long," she said. The women invited her to
bring her son to Sunday school.
"I was afraid of going to church, because I feared being
judged by God. I feared being looked at by others and being
judged by them also. But I went, I took my son to Sunday school
and started attending church," Ingram said.
"None of the stuff happened that I thought would happen. No
one looked at me funny. No one moved over in the pew. Everyone
hugged me. And I heard that Jesus loved me," she said.
Ingram heard a biblical story from the Gospel of St. Luke:
"And just then there appeared a woman with a spirit that had
crippled her for 18 years. She was bent over and was quite
unable to stand up straight. When Jesus saw her, he called her
over and said, 'Woman, you are set free from your ailment.' When
he laid his hands on her, immediately she stood up straight and
began praising God."
"That was a story about me," Ingram said.
Neumark invited Ingram to read Bible lessons in church.
When Ingram said she couldn't, Neumark convinced her she could.
Neumark asked Ingram to teach Sunday school. Whenever Ingram
said she couldn't do something, Neumark convinced her she could.
Ingram said she began to understand: "When people tell me 'No,
you can't,' God tells me 'Yes, you can,' and I do."
"Just as Jesus told that woman who was bent over, 'You are
set free from your ailment,' he said that to me. I was set free
from my ailment, and it wasn't the physical ailment that had me
bent over, but the emotional ailment, the spiritual ailment," she
said.
"Slowly, I began to look at myself and having the virus
differently, because I realized that Jesus loved me just the way
I am -- with all of my imperfections, with all of my sinfulness.
Because of my imperfections and sinfulness, Jesus loves me. What
a liberating feeling," Ingram said.
"And so, I began to embrace my HIV status. It is a part of
who I am. It is not the total me, but a part of who I am," she
said. "I came to understand that it didn't matter what others
thought. I had to love myself first," Ingram said. "I had to
get rid of my own stigmas first, before I could deal with the
stigma of others."
"Why don't you think about going to seminary?" Neumark asked
Ingram. "I said, 'Well, I don't know,'" Ingram said. "She said,
'Yes, you can do that.'"

The process to become an ordained minister of the ELCA
Ingram applied to become a candidate for ordained ministry
through the ELCA Metropolitan New York Synod. She met the
synod's candidacy committee, and the entrance interview included
a review of her psychological evaluation. It ended abruptly with
a question: "What if we sent you to seminary and you developed
AIDS dementia?"
"I was kind of shocked when I heard those words," Ingram
said. She didn't have a response other than "Thank you for your
time," she said.
With the support of more pastors, Ingram returned the
following year and applied again. The same question came up at
the entrance interview.
"What if you got hit by a bus when you left the building?"
Ingram asked in response. "When people tell me 'No, you can't,'
God tells me 'Yes, you can,' and I do."
Ingram entered the Lutheran Theological Seminary in
Philadelphia as part of the ELCA's Theological Education for
Emerging Ministries (TEEM) program. TEEM provides an alternative
program of preparation for ordination in the ELCA for certain
people identified for ministry in a specific context.
During her second year in the program, Ingram entered the
seminary's full academic program to earn a master of divinity
degree. "I felt that I needed everything the seminary had to
offer, in order to deal with the stigma that is attached to my
age, my gender, my culture and my illness. The stigma that I
sometimes deal with goes much deeper than just the illness,"
Ingram said.
Ingram said s